未來是什麼呢？
既看不到也摸不著
在伸手不見五指的迷霧下
該前進？還是該後退？
思念的形狀是什麼樣？
是否真的是環繞著？
但是我能肯定
思念很沉重……….
情緒的壓抑
已然重到不能再重
曾經看過這麼一句話
「當壓抑過久的時候
就不需要在壓抑了」
因為那時候的情緒早已崩潰
比較起來這是一種幸運
至少不用繼續壓抑
所以
我還不夠幸運
今天去看了兩次醫生
一次照了胃鏡
搞不清楚是胃還是十二指腸潰瘍
還有食道逆流
一次是找醫生開安眠藥
這陣子藥物已經快變成一種依賴
本來好了不少的毛病
看樣子開始慢慢再復發
真的好想
放下所有的心情
就此消失
這樣
就不會在CARE什麼了
水瓶雙魚
水瓶的平靜下藏著許多的情緒
雙魚的情緒只是率性而為
交錯複雜的思緒
好沉重……………..
試著聽聽琳恩瑪蓮的「Disguise」吧
這首歌江美琪也有翻唱過
不過還是原唱的版本比較有那種味道
就讓自己在音樂中暫時把所有的情緒都給忘記吧
把思念丟到遠遠的地方去
我想
我該努力把這種不需要的情緒給拋棄了
麻木一點的過生活或許會比較好
也許…………….
從今天開始
把所有都忘記了吧
除了呼吸以及生活
什麼都不需要
[media id=13]
Lene Marlin - Disguise Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside You will never measure up, to those people you Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak Have you ever told someone something That's far from the truth Let them know that you're okay Just to make them stop All the wondering, and questions they may have I'm okay, I really am now Just needed some time, to figure things out Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you Still we don't know what's yet to come Have you ever seen your face, In a mirror there's a smile But inside you're just a mess, You feel far from good Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand Have you ever had this wish, of being Somewhere else To let go of your disguise, all your worries too And from that moment, then you see things clear I'm okay, I really am now Just needed some time, to figure things out Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you Still we don't know what's yet to come Are you waiting for the day When your pain will disappear When you know that it's not true What they say about you You could not care less about the things Surrounding you Ignoring all the voices from the walls I'm okay, I really am now Just needed some time, to figure things out Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you Still we don't know what's yet to come I'm okay, I really am now Just needed some time, to figure things out Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you Still we don't know what's yet to come Still we don't know what's yet to come Still we don't know what's yet to come